Ouch.

When I was about to move from my seat to leave the bus, I knocked my head! Well, that's normal. Then somehow, I sort of slipped in the bus!

What the hell. Damn pain.

I'm not talking about my head or my sandals.
I'm referring to my pride.

Ouch.

This one group of boys around my age, looked at me, smiled... and finally laughed!

Double ouch.

I'm such a klutz. Haihz.
My legs and hands got a lot of scarsssssssssssssss and bruisesssssssssss. T____T
Especially after I started working.

***

I've already made up my mind right? Why can't I go straight to point and ask? I was all annoyed this afternoon.. but why did I let everything pass when we went back this evening?

You don't remember don't you?

Understand?

我得依嘎某拉某郎...

So cool writing in Chinese because not many understand. I wanna continue doing like this from now on.

***

Gone.

After 17 minutes of wandering and worrying over unnecessary issues, I came up with the stupidest statement ever. Something that made me regret for life.

I've ruined everything.
Sucks right?

And it's all because of me, being the person who have too many doubts in her mind and not afraid of telling things that can hurt others.

I was partially forgiven.

But once again, I said something really really harsh and the feedback that I received left a really huge empty hole in my heart - a place where I'd been stabbed and the wound that can never be healed.

What I'm trying to say is,
I have lost what I had before.

全部都是我自己拿来的。。。

***

6Cs.

I learned something today during yam cha session after my work.

Men must have 6 Cs.

1. Cash
2. Condo
3. Carats
4. Condom
5. Credit Card
6. Car*

Lol.. thanks to someone, I got the answer for number 6!

P.s :
1. Melissa hugged me so tight today!
Omg okay. Melissa! My supervisor... Hahhaha!
I was just kidding that time but she really did it.

2. Never ever place hope on something impossible. No matter how many times you've tried, things just don't work out the way you want it to be, and never will.

***

The Old Fear

I'm writing this for you...
Rikuz.

I've the feeling that I've changed. Not to the better.
I don't laugh as how I used to before. I don't talk crap that much anymore.
I don't look forward to go to work, outings and everything no more.

The person I've became is similar to the old me. The old Yen-yen.
Memories of National Service, memories of working in HP.
The same old frustrating fear that I can't seem to get rid of for so long.

Nope, I'm not being emotional. If u want me to be emo, I can.. but I'm not gonna to write such thing to my viewers.

Actually, I'm doing it already. Can't help myself. I'm being stupid.
I'm doing this for no reason.

I hate you. I hate the rest of you too. But most of all, I hate myself.

Rikkuz