One Second

In just a blink of an eye; barely even a second, the feelings that I had before just disappeared.
It shouldn't have happened that way it turned out to be.
I can't help myself for thinking about it, can't I?

I know the fact that it cannot be denied. Though at certain times, I do wish it didn't happen you know?
But, then again... I should be grateful.
At least I now know the true meaning of being in it.

Truth... Promises... Hope...
Lies... Broken promises... Despair...
All under the canopy of ____


***

Mother Me.

We were hanging out at Old Town for dinner when my mom suggested to shop for food at the supermarket. We bought lots and lots of type of foods ranging from snacks to biscuits, packs of instant noodles to spaghetti, vitagen to sparkling juice.. you name it. =)

As one of my usual favorite supper, I had my instant noodle. The one that I had just bought.

Notice anything different? Thought so.

My bro was asking me, what type of instant noodle was I eating?
I replied him with this short answer, "As usual la. What else?"

He came up to me and checked the brand.

What the...?

Indo Mee became Ibumie???

14th October 2008

First of all,

I wanna thank my parents, especially my mom for giving me a really big surprise by coming to my workplace herself, accompanied by my sis to give my first-ever-bunch of flowers for my birthday.
She wanted it to be delivered, rather than giving it in front of me. But she did pass it to Melissa, who was just beside me.


No one was suppose to know it was my birthday okay.
As always, rumors spread.
From the department downstairs, to the second floor. I felt like I was in the center of attention for the first time.

I celebrated with my parents and my sis by having lunch with them at Marco Polo. I love their dim sums!

They bought a chocolate cake from Le Meridien. It wasn't that nice as I prefer cheesecake. Hehe.


***

Next,

To my animals, for being able to be there with me during the night at Wings Cafe. Though it was pretty simple, yet it was one memorable night for me.


To my college friends, for flying all the way to KLCC from Sunway after their classes ended. Usually, I was the one who have to give in by making Pyramid as our usual hang out complex for movies and to chill out.

For the first time, they gave in. For me! So cool right?
For the first time, I had Chili's. I know, don't mention it. .
For the first time, I had lamb shoulder all by myself.
For the first time, I received a really hugeeeeeeeeeeeeee doggy!!

They tricked me by giving me this medium sized paper bag in the beginning.

Tom : Yen-yen, this is for you. *shoved the present to me*
Me : Omg, thank you!
Tom : No lar, this is not for you.
Me : Omg, I feel so malu. Omg, omg..

Then all a sudden,

Tom : This one only is for you!!

They gave me this huge plastic bag!
I was really touched okay. Haha.
And tiger konon. Wth.



I really had a great time talking with all of them. The feeling was GREAT! After much frustration from the office, I had the chance of not thinking about anything else at all, except about them. Seriously. Not even once.

So, it ended with a surprise molten chocolate cake.


***

Thanks to this person, for actually embarrassing me right in front of the Head of Operation. He said my face was blushing like mad. Did I actually blush? Why do they always say I blush all the time??


***

Last but not least,

Thank you for ur wishes in sms-es, calls, friendster messages and facebook walls.

A few friends and sisters from overseas actually messaged me.
The weird thing was, a friend whom I don't contact for more than 2 years wished me and even a few NS friends whom I don't even rmb their names called me.

***

I'd wished for something impossible this year though I know it won't come true.

Ouch.

When I was about to move from my seat to leave the bus, I knocked my head! Well, that's normal. Then somehow, I sort of slipped in the bus!

What the hell. Damn pain.

I'm not talking about my head or my sandals.
I'm referring to my pride.

Ouch.

This one group of boys around my age, looked at me, smiled... and finally laughed!

Double ouch.

I'm such a klutz. Haihz.
My legs and hands got a lot of scarsssssssssssssss and bruisesssssssssss. T____T
Especially after I started working.

***

I've already made up my mind right? Why can't I go straight to point and ask? I was all annoyed this afternoon.. but why did I let everything pass when we went back this evening?

You don't remember don't you?

Understand?

我得依嘎某拉某郎...

So cool writing in Chinese because not many understand. I wanna continue doing like this from now on.

***

Gone.

After 17 minutes of wandering and worrying over unnecessary issues, I came up with the stupidest statement ever. Something that made me regret for life.

I've ruined everything.
Sucks right?

And it's all because of me, being the person who have too many doubts in her mind and not afraid of telling things that can hurt others.

I was partially forgiven.

But once again, I said something really really harsh and the feedback that I received left a really huge empty hole in my heart - a place where I'd been stabbed and the wound that can never be healed.

What I'm trying to say is,
I have lost what I had before.

全部都是我自己拿来的。。。

***

6Cs.

I learned something today during yam cha session after my work.

Men must have 6 Cs.

1. Cash
2. Condo
3. Carats
4. Condom
5. Credit Card
6. Car*

Lol.. thanks to someone, I got the answer for number 6!

P.s :
1. Melissa hugged me so tight today!
Omg okay. Melissa! My supervisor... Hahhaha!
I was just kidding that time but she really did it.

2. Never ever place hope on something impossible. No matter how many times you've tried, things just don't work out the way you want it to be, and never will.

***

The Old Fear

I'm writing this for you...
Rikuz.

I've the feeling that I've changed. Not to the better.
I don't laugh as how I used to before. I don't talk crap that much anymore.
I don't look forward to go to work, outings and everything no more.

The person I've became is similar to the old me. The old Yen-yen.
Memories of National Service, memories of working in HP.
The same old frustrating fear that I can't seem to get rid of for so long.

Nope, I'm not being emotional. If u want me to be emo, I can.. but I'm not gonna to write such thing to my viewers.

Actually, I'm doing it already. Can't help myself. I'm being stupid.
I'm doing this for no reason.

I hate you. I hate the rest of you too. But most of all, I hate myself.

Rikkuz