Cant Take That Away From Me

Everything was going fine, I knew it was happening but I just didn’t want to make things more complicated than it already was. It was up till that day, that very day… where everything changed. Things will never be the same again, since then. I was expecting myself to come up with an idea on how react to it on a particular day, except that I really had no idea on how to make it out of the ordinary. Questions had been raised, and the response wasn’t exactly what I had expected. It was, somehow…much more meaningful than that. So genuine… so sweet…

It was supposed to become clear to me after everything that had been through, but deep down… I still don’t know the actual answer. Nobody has yet taken away my weakness which I have been trying to overcome over the years before. I’m afraid that I will allow my weakness to wipe out what has been built before. The past are just part of my excuses of what I had turned into, the past are just part of my excuses of trying to deny the truth. I know it doesn’t matter, but it really does concern me, and it still does.

“You will never know if you never try”.

But it’s always easier said than done right? Also, I know I am afraid to accept changes, afraid of what people have to think, and afraid of ruining everything again. There are always questions of what-if in the future that can never be answered by me, or by anyone else.

I am trying, no, I have tried, but without success. It was, by far the most embarrassing and the most foolish thing that I have ever done. And each time I think about that incident really makes me feel like slapping myself hard for being so stupid. I really regretted because I don’t want it to happen because of another accident, again.

Godz, why is it always has to be like this?

Why am I running away as usual?

Will I ever be good enough?

I know you must be thinking, what the heck is Yen-Yen talking about? Hahahaha..
The truth is… I’m not too sure myself. Damn, such an emotional post. So, this is just another one of my crappy posts which nobody, hopefully can understand.


Okay, I think it’s time for me to wake up from my dream and return to reality.

Study Break

Once again, we exceeded the internet limit. This is just so great. How am I supposed to survive a whole week of break without having to use the internet properly? The only websites which continue to go smoothly are my hotmail and my msn. I can’t even access my university’s blackboard as it should be and I have tons of lectures recordings, tutorial answers, and mock exams to catch up by the end of this week, or at least before my Acct Exam this Saturday.

So, trying to have a productive day on Saturday, I cleaned my room, did my laundry, folded my clothes, and arranged my computer folders after returning from my friend’s house. Whereas on Sunday, I decided to buy groceries, (something which I intended not to at first) and went all the way from my house on a Sunday afternoon to university. Imagine that, who goes to university on a Sunday right? Yeah that’s right. God is trying to prove that as well.

I was rushing to go to university because it usually closes at 6pm and it was close to 1.30 during that time. I got down from the bus. As expected, there weren’t that many people around. I headed to the library and I found out that it was closed for that day! Apa the fuck!!! I was trying to be a good girl okay, and God still have to do this to me?

My life is damn sad you know, I’ve been having bad luck since I arrived to Perth and it is never ending. Only a friend of mine will understand this, because both of us are having the same situation as well and no one can ever understand them as well as we can. Haha, yes… I know you’re smiling, woman.

The thought of going home empty handed just pissed me off. How the *** would I know that they are also closed on the day before Easter? I didn’t know what to do at the beginning. I was walking aimlessly around the university at first, and the next moment, I decided to take the bus to go to my friend’s house. *Sigh*.

For the sake of the internet, I had to trouble a friend of mine. I stayed at his house for quite some time. I seriously need to belanja this person one day, cause I owed this person quite a lot, and it is still accumulating week by week. Haha, little did I realize, I passed some of my luck to this person, making him unable to go online just now and gave him something he feared the most.

Heartz <3



Bloody hell, weeks ahead from now, all the assignments which carry the most marks will be due in the middle of May.

Good Friday!

It all started when we decided to have home cooked food for dinner among all 5 inexperience Malaysian cooks on a Good Friday. Look, we don’t always play around and have fun all right; we also had our work done as well. We need to have the best of both worlds okay, the balance of playing and studying. So here’s a proof that we really did our assignment.

See? We were doing our Accounts assignment, which is due in the middle of May.

Easter chocolate Eggs, thanks to Lionel… we finally had something that is related to Easter.

What better more to celebrate the day with all the Malaysians?

Maggie Mee, curry flavor. Henri’s dad packed a BOX of Maggie mee from Malaysia to Perth so that his son wouldn’t die of hunger. Godz, the noodles tasted so so good.


It keeps reminding me of how much I miss Malaysian food. =T

Our lunch went along with Russell Peter’s show using the laptop, an all time favourite comedian during college.


After lunch, we continued our assignment, until dinner time. =) See? It’s only a start of the holidays and we are on the track of finishing them. Though we couldn’t figure out why isn’t it balance. *Sigh* The biggest mistake was, I accidently wrote an extra figure 0 in our work, making our total trial balance of a $50, 000 difference.



And then it was time…




…to start cooking. Each of us prepared a dish and we were supposed to pose for our signature dish.


From vegetables, to meat, to…. Sausages. Sweat.



Sausages with chopped onions and garlic, with freshly squeezed lemon.



Preparing their family’s recipe of salad dressing.



The final touch. Olive oil, salt, vinegar (I think), garlic and bunch of others.



Posers, especially the one sitting down.



Helping out to wash the salad



But his main one is the ‘pure’ rice. He had a whole sack and a pail of it which can feed the whole army for a year.



She with her Balls as usual.

She insisted on decorating them for presentation. =P

Hmmm.. her aunt cooked this.

It’s not how you think it is. I don’t cook that way! It’s cause the pork was still hard and I was trying to cut it into smaller pieces

I have natural talent la. It turned out to be quite nice okay. My beloved fresh mushrooms and minced pork with soy sauce.

Our masterpiece

Group photo, the Malaysian Gang, 4 Taylorians, a Sunway-an.

Washing up after the dinner.

***

That’s not the end.

All right folks, we move on…

We were really keen on lying on the grass to watch the stars and to chill out. So, we decided to go to Kings Park. We took a bus…

Climbed the stairs.

Reached the start of Kings Park, looking at the city of lights.

It was pretty cool, to have nothing to worry about…but to lie down on the cool grass, relaxing while watching the moon and ahem, counting the stars… I really wish we could do that more often. You will never find something like this in Malaysia.. =D

What a waste, Henri never bring his phone. He brought everything, the keys, even the torchlight…but his handphone..

After a few hours, we headed back to his house. We went down the stairs while singing nursery rhymes. Lol, It was hilarious. We sang Twinkle Star, Baa Baa black sheep, Little Red Indians, Happy Family etc. The neighbours were looking out of the windows when we passed by Lionel’s apartment cause we were making too much noise.

On a side note, We missed the last bus, which was at 9 something, so we walked all the way from Lionel’s house to Henri’s house, passing Mounts Bay Road, UWA and lastly, Henri’s house. It took us about 1 hour 45mins overall non-stop to reach his place. It was a really great experience and the best part is, I wasn’t sweating at all!

A cup of Milo and Toast bread with kaya and butter for supper. *Heartz*

I miss Old Town’s toast bread. =(

At 1 something, we watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button in his room. We were all soon asleep due to tiredness even before half the movie. Though I was really tired, I couldn’t really sleep that night…again. I don’t get it..

The next morning, we watched another show of Russell Peters and A Walk to Remember. I love this movie so much. =D I cried the first time I watched this… and I don’t usually cry okay. So, it proves that it’s a really touching movie.

Domino’s for lunch.

Mambo Night

This event is supposed to be updated quite some time ago, but I didn’t manage to get the entire photos from my friend. Oh well, I can’t wait any longer cause I’m starting to lose the enthusiasm of writing about this already. I won’t be updating that many photos cause I’m too lazy to do it. Check out my facebook if you’re interested.

Mambo Night, a weekly club event in Singapore where they play songs from the 50’s to the 80’s, such as Like a Virgin, Mickey Mouse song, and the main one. YMCA. =D=D=D Of course, we have also Right Round, Just Dance, Dangerous, Low, etc. I was surprised that they never even touch a song of Britney Spears.

Few hours before Mambo Night, my friend and I went to Harbour Town to look both of our stuff. She wanted pumps while I wanted purse. I had more than what I have asked for whereas she couldn’t find the suitable one. After shopping, both of us headed home, and came out again to meet up for dinner.

Dinner before the event






Malaysians Vs Singaporeans. As always. It’s not like we planned it, it just happened.

Main Entrance

The Crowd

The Stage

The people

The girls

4 plus 1

Mk and I.

It was another great event among my friends and I, and it is certainly a night to remember, besides the point that we were one of the earliest to reach the club. =) An experience without even a tinge feeling of drowsiness or drunkenness as each of us only had a pint and 2 very mild shots. The clubs in Malaysia really cannot compare to this club okay, cause this club is so huge and 10 times better than the one in Malaysia. I can’t wait for our next clubbing after our exam~

We danced till the very last minute, which was sharp 3am, where the bouncers kicked us out of the club. Instead of taking a cab to a friend’s house to stay over, we walked… >.<

Those Were The Days

As written in the title above, I had some pretty bad experience involving certain people last year. Not to say it was a bad experience, but at the age of 19, I must say I was kind of naive and not to forget, gullible. I trust people easily, and I soon learned not to trust people completely anymore. My colleagues were saying I was childish and I giggle a lot. Lol, that I can't really deny because I will contradict with the fact. Anyway, here is how it goes, it began when I started...

Okay wtf, I don't feel like writing out my stories here, but i don't feel like deleting what I have written either.

What I can say is, we used to share something in common which no one else does. Conversation between the two of us and items that are given privately. Damn, I don't know how to put it in words. All in all, the past is haunting me again and the more I think about it, the more I find my past really distracting. It's happening again, but some of the parts has being modified. It's... creepy. Godz, what's with me man? Ever since I came here, I am living more in the past rather than the present.


I'm getting crazy and I need a psychiatrist. I don't even know what is this whole post about.


***


Holidays, here I comeeeeeeeeeeeeee =D

I can't wait for my one week break which is starting soon, this Friday till the next Sunday! Well we can't really consider it as a holiday because we're suppose to be studying for our coming mid exams, and one of our papers is on Saturday, but who cares? We're here to enjoy first, and studies come later! Let me off the hook, man. Plans, plans.. coming soon among my friends and I. My idea of buying bunny chocolates had been rejected by 2 of my friends. Oh wait, was it her idea? I kinda forgot. Sorry woman, if I took your idea.

T________T

Mom is so gonna kill me if she reads this, which I know she doesn't. I'm becoming more lazy day by day as the semester goes on. I attended all lectures and tutorials on the first month, and I skipped uncountable lectures on the second month. Wtf, I can't even count how many times I have skipped with my fingers. This is bad, I need someone to control me. I need some motivations to study! Help~~~ !!

The reason I'm blogging this today is because I just feel like doing something other than watching Heroes and studying (wtf) and some other 'stuffs'. Nah, wrong! The real reason is because I finished most of my tutorial questions, and one bloody exam already. That's why now I'm in the mood, compare to the last few days which was extremely stressing.


***

People, don't ever underestimate these birds. You may find them cute and small, but never... ever... mess with them. They're not just animals, they are monstrous!!! I'm not talking about bird shit, even though I had experienced it when I was in standard 2 and it happened just before the school assembly started. Wtf wey.
No no, it's way away from that boundary. Birds, I hate them. It's cause I had been attacked. Wtf wey, the whole thing was damn embarrassing cause we were in university, sitting on the grass while eating our lunch... and and... I'm not gonna say anymore. Haha, damn potong stim right?

Sometimes

There are lots of things I want to blog about, but I don't have a faintest idea on where to start.

Sometimes I have the urge to write about the people around me, but I cant because I know some of them are reading this. The fear of rumors being spread around wouldn't be something I have in mind.

Sometimes I have the urge to expose my feelings that I have kept it hidden, but I can't because I don't want to gain sympathy from people. Making myself vulnerable and letting my guards down is a big no to me.

Sometimes I feel like complaining about everything, and asking Him for a reason, but I can't because life isn't always fair and we wouldn't always get hold of what we desire.

***

I don't know what has gotten into me. I've been keeping myself busy to try to not think too much. Listening to what my friends have said last night when we were hanging out at a friend's place about missing home and wishing to go back just brought more questions,
more reasons and more pressure to not looking forward to go back. It's silly, kinda think of it.

Taking it For Granted

*Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is.*

Credits to this person who searched this quote coincidentally or on purpose for me.