At first I was wondering, what makes me happy the most? The more I thought of it, the more I know what it is. The feeling of being loved, being wanted and being accepted for who I am. It was that easy, yet that hard to achieve. I love being cared. In fact, I love anyone who cares for me. Even something simple can make my day. For instance, keeping my msg in their phone, or saying my name in their conversation, or calling/sms-ing me first instead of them. I know, it's lame. But, it's the truth. Most importantly, I love anyone who comes to me own their own. And I mean willingly, without anything or anyone forcing them to.
The moment I feel nobody bothers about me, I will surely feel moody. That's why I can go hyper in one minute and quiet the next. Who would ever want to go with somebody who always thinks negatively? I seriously tried to be optimistic all the time. I succeeded for quite some time. I was happy, or so I thought... until my friend said something about me hiding my problems and feelings that day. I was in class when I read her msg. I don't know how she did that, but I just felt tears flowing down.
I don't even know what am I hiding okay? Or maybe I do, just that I don't wanna think about it. I really wanted to blame her for that. Blame her for making me feel this way. To make matter worse, that was the night we were supposed to meet up. Okay, I admit. I was feeling lonely, I was jealous. I was disappointed, and I was being emotional that night. All I know is, I don't want to be the same type of best friend as how my sis is.
Yet, I'm always jealous of people around me. I'm always comparing myself with other people. I'm always looking down at myself. I've tried to get rid of these feelings, but I failed. It's bad enough for me to feel this way, it felt even worse when others repeat this to me. I know I'm not as smart as the rest, but why must u compare your own daughter with others? Why must u say that I'm no better than my brother, who just ran away from home just now? It hurts a lot.
Once again, I'm posting something negative. And once again, I just can't help it. This holiday is turning me bad instead of better.
This is the second post.
The moment I feel nobody bothers about me, I will surely feel moody. That's why I can go hyper in one minute and quiet the next. Who would ever want to go with somebody who always thinks negatively? I seriously tried to be optimistic all the time. I succeeded for quite some time. I was happy, or so I thought... until my friend said something about me hiding my problems and feelings that day. I was in class when I read her msg. I don't know how she did that, but I just felt tears flowing down.
I don't even know what am I hiding okay? Or maybe I do, just that I don't wanna think about it. I really wanted to blame her for that. Blame her for making me feel this way. To make matter worse, that was the night we were supposed to meet up. Okay, I admit. I was feeling lonely, I was jealous. I was disappointed, and I was being emotional that night. All I know is, I don't want to be the same type of best friend as how my sis is.
Yet, I'm always jealous of people around me. I'm always comparing myself with other people. I'm always looking down at myself. I've tried to get rid of these feelings, but I failed. It's bad enough for me to feel this way, it felt even worse when others repeat this to me. I know I'm not as smart as the rest, but why must u compare your own daughter with others? Why must u say that I'm no better than my brother, who just ran away from home just now? It hurts a lot.
Once again, I'm posting something negative. And once again, I just can't help it. This holiday is turning me bad instead of better.
This is the second post.
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