How would you feel if the person you were supposed to meet was waiting outside, while the person you don't want to meet just accidentally turned up behind you?
This incident happened all a sudden.
I didn't know what to do but to run away.
I was just about to meet my friend when I saw Megan outside. Megan was smiling at me for no reason... then I was thinking, did he know about that night? Did he witness the whole thing? I was really reluctant to go to my friend while Megan was there. Okay, he wasn't the problem.
The problem was, I turned around and almost knocked another person! Wtf. What was God trying to do??!!! Why must I ended up seeing him??!? Hours and hours in the office, but just that moment, we bumped into each other, right in front of my friend.
*I thought you're walking that way, why sudd turned back?"
He must have thought that I was weird.
Wtf.
I was being indecisive, trying to make up my mind to go or not to go. Somehow, I wasn't ready to show him. I wanted to. But, I couldn't. I turned away from my friend and acted as if I changed my mind.
The more I think about that night, the more I realize that he was there... right in front of me... but I'm still not sure.
***
Why do I only know how to receive but not to give? Having to receive is a pleasure and but giving is voluntarily, right?
I feel so bad. I'm not sure whether I'm doing the right thing. Something inside me is trying to tell me to let go, but I couldn't, not entirely, because I've once felt that way. I mean, the feeling was real. It's not often that I let my guards down, yet it happened unintentionally.
I think I still need time.
I'm scared that if I continue doing what I'm doing now, which is giving up... I would lose again like how I lost before. But if I don't, I'm scared I would depend on him too much, expecting him to do the things he usually does. What if all these are just temporary? This is my first time been showered with these kinda things. Seriously. I feel really grateful.
I'm making things more complicated than they are right now.
I know you're reading this. Am I doing the right thing?
This incident happened all a sudden.
I didn't know what to do but to run away.
I was just about to meet my friend when I saw Megan outside. Megan was smiling at me for no reason... then I was thinking, did he know about that night? Did he witness the whole thing? I was really reluctant to go to my friend while Megan was there. Okay, he wasn't the problem.
The problem was, I turned around and almost knocked another person! Wtf. What was God trying to do??!!! Why must I ended up seeing him??!? Hours and hours in the office, but just that moment, we bumped into each other, right in front of my friend.
*I thought you're walking that way, why sudd turned back?"
He must have thought that I was weird.
Wtf.
I was being indecisive, trying to make up my mind to go or not to go. Somehow, I wasn't ready to show him. I wanted to. But, I couldn't. I turned away from my friend and acted as if I changed my mind.
The more I think about that night, the more I realize that he was there... right in front of me... but I'm still not sure.
***
Why do I only know how to receive but not to give? Having to receive is a pleasure and but giving is voluntarily, right?
I feel so bad. I'm not sure whether I'm doing the right thing. Something inside me is trying to tell me to let go, but I couldn't, not entirely, because I've once felt that way. I mean, the feeling was real. It's not often that I let my guards down, yet it happened unintentionally.
I think I still need time.
I'm scared that if I continue doing what I'm doing now, which is giving up... I would lose again like how I lost before. But if I don't, I'm scared I would depend on him too much, expecting him to do the things he usually does. What if all these are just temporary? This is my first time been showered with these kinda things. Seriously. I feel really grateful.
I'm making things more complicated than they are right now.
I know you're reading this. Am I doing the right thing?
***
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